kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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