bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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