I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
