were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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