Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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