turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
