Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
