Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
