so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
