And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
