if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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