she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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