Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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