What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
MIDGETS
????
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
