the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
