I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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