her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
