her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
