I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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