I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
sarcasm needs its own font
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
