She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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