A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Can Purell be used as lube?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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