If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
