do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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