it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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