Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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