What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
