we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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