I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize