just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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