3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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