I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
