I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
