He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Are we still banned from the library?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
