I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
