Screwed.edu
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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