I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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