he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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