What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
