but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
