And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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