If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
