If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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