She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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