But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
