so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
