she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
