Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
