just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
