did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
