im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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