Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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