hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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