since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
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Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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