For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
