Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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