so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
