why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
