Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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