i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
