Kiss
Puke
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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