You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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